It’s weird… I used to think I was the problem, and let me tell you this now, that’s not a good feeling, no matter the situation no matter who you are, no one likes to feel like they’re the problem.
I’ll be the first to hold my hands up and say that in the past I’ve not always been the best friend, but I’ve always tried to keep the connections alive. I get that sometimes it’s hard to do so when people have their own lives and their own jobs to focus on. But it makes it even more difficult when the talking and the effort is one sided. It gets to a point where it’s not even worth it any more, and that’s just sad.
I used to feel bad about myself, because I always thought it was my fault, that they just didn’t want to talk to me. But I learned through mutual friends that that wasn’t always the case, because they to had been shown the cold shoulder, and it’s hard not to get angry about it. Especially when you see them posting on social media day in and day out, and it’s because of that that I’m writing this today.
I’m writing this for all those other people who always feel isolated amongst a group, or those who just feel like they’re not enough.
People always talk about the traits of toxic relationships, what to look out for and how to tell if you’re in one… but what about toxic friendships, why are they always overlooked?
Here are a few things to look out for that I’ve picked up on a long the way:
– Accepting invites but never showing
– Leaving messages unread
– Being left on read
– Always making excuses as to why they’ve been “out of touch”
– Saying let’s meet up and never following through
– Acting like none of that happened the next time you see each other in public.
If you recognise these traits in others my advice is to let them go.
If you recognise these traits in yourself then congratulations, you’ve realised you’re the problem… now what are you going to do about that?